I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
