honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
