I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
