Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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