do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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