they need to just BURY HIM!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
