My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
