She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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