Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
