His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
