Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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