when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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