We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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