Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
