somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
