Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
