Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
