He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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