dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
