I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize