At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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