i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
