They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
