Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
