Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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