I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
