My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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