so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
