Little spoons don't ask big questions
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
