She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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