I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize