I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
