tell your sister to shave her snatch
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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