It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
