sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't make out with my wife yet
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
