why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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