just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
