my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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