we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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