If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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