Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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