Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we're making bets on your personal life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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