I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
