im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
