am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
