Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
