I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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