I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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