dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
