I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
send nudes
from the living room?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
