my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
