It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
