I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
