my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
