I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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