why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
