then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
