As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
