He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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