so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
